Sunday, November 30, 2014

Bedtime Conversations

About once a week I make a point to chat with each of my littles, one on one, when they're cozy in bed, settled for the night. Sometimes we talk about nothing, other times we talk about "stuff".

They never cease to amaze me.

Conversation #1

Me: What would you think if Prince Charming* stayed here the next time he was in town?

Boy: Where would he sleep? Would I have to sleep in the girls' room?

Me: No, he'd sleep in my bed.

Boy: Then where would you sleep?

Me: In my bed too.

Boy: And I don't have to give up my bed? 

Me: Nope. You'd still sleep in your bed.

Boy: Then it doesn't really matter to me...Oh, Mom! You won't be so cold at night if he stays here, he can keep you warm!

Planning on it, my boy. Planning on it.

Conversation #2

Me: What would you think if Prince Charming* stayed with us the next time he was in town?

Eldest: Would we be here too? Or would we go to Dad's?

Me: More than likely you'd be at Dad's. But I wanted your opinion, in case you're not.

Eldest: Oh, like if dad works?

Me: Yep.

Eldest: Well.... It's fine with long as I know before I go to sleep that he'll be here when I wake up. It would totally freak me out to wake up and find a guy in my house.

Me, laughing: fair enough. I'd make sure you'd know the night before.

Conversation #3

Me: What would you think if Prince Charming* stayed with us the next time he was in town?

Littlest: Why? 

Me: Well....I work, and I'd like to spend some time with him and if he stayed here, I could see him more.

Littlest: Oh, that makes sense. You do work a lot...Where would he sleep?

Me: In my bed, with me.

Littlest: Can I still come in if I have a bad dream or can't sleep? 

Me: Of course. I'd probably tuck you back in your bed though, you wouldn't get to climb in bed with me.

Littlest: Oh.....Yeah. I guess your bed isn't really big enough for three.

Me: True. And he's not used to kids climbing into bed...

Littlest, giggling: Yeah. And he might snore, so I wouldn't sleep anyways.

Me: ..... I hadn't thought of that.

Littlest, patting my hand reassuringly: Don't worry momma, if he snores you can sleep with me.

I love my realistic, honest, pragmatic children. 

*name has been changed. 
Obviously.  Because he's not a prince. Or charming. and I'm not Cinderella.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Fly On My Wall - my side of the conversation

Um...Hi. .....

So, I was thinking..
You. me.
Whadda think?
No, I'm not kidding.

Not that....
been there, done that. 
I don't have time for that.
I don't want that.
....You don't want that, why should I?

This, I want this.
this suits me much better than that.
because this is what I have to give.
can't give more.
won't give more.
Yes, I'm sure
Yes, I know.
Well aware.

...does that really matter?

Then is not now, then is later.
Then hasn't happened yet.

Let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.

Today, this.
I want this.
just this.

Crazy, right?
Surprised much?
Yeah me too.

Figured I'd throw it out there.....
I don't have time to wait for you to pick up the hints....
and really, you're not that great at picking up hints...
and I'm too old for games.

So. Telling you.

What do you say, my friend?

Shall we see where this takes us?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

life. it happens.

Um, hi.
Didn't mean to fall of the face of the earth.
Just been busy, really busy.

Got a new job a month ago, 40 hrs a week. My current schedule has me getting up at 4am.
painful, 4am.
It's not really morning.

By the time I get home from work and then do the mom thing, there's not a whole lot of brain power left for writing. 
or dishes.
or laundry.
or mopping. 

or anything else.

Right now, I'm tired all the time.
exhausted. all. the. time.

I'm sure the grammar and formatting in this post are atrocious.
I'm too tired to care.
I drive at least an hour each day, so I've plenty of time to think. I write posts in my head, just don't get them out of my head.

About what? well -

I'm continuing to make discoveries about myself and what's important to me, and (more importantly) what's not important.

I've had really awesome conversations with my three not-so-littles about different kinds of relationships, how different people need and want different things, and how that's okay. 

I've embraced the fact that I am who I am. I like who I am, and I really don't care what anyone thinks. I'm quirky. I'm a lot.
Deal with it. Or don't, I don't care.
Really. could not care less.
Each of these deserve a full, stand-alone post. The serendipitous events that spiraled into these discoveries are pretty awesome. They're also personal.

and, my personal life is, well, mine.

So, until I find the brain power to write about these lessons abstractly, know this:

I'm happy.
I am content to enjoy the now, without stressing about what comes next.
Because I don't know what comes next.
I only know what I know.

And what I know makes me happy.