so many words.

It’s been a big week for me. So much talking, I've used up my verb allotment for the week.  I'm down to half completed sentences full of pronouns and gestures.

Conversations with my former husband about the future.  

Good, open conversations. 

Conversations with my eldest about boyfriends, swearing, smoking, and that fluttery feeling in your chest when that boy smiles at you.  

A parenting win.

Conversations where I struggle to find the exactly right words, to be honest and trusting that it is the right time to say them. 

I found my words. I said them. 

AND

The biggest part of the week –

I invited THE ENTIRE cast and crew of the production I’m currently working on TO MY HOUSE.

MY HOUSE.

Anyone who knows me knows how huge this is. First time I've hosted a non-family event by myself.

All those people will know where I live.  I’m sharing my peaceful bit of heaven.  With EVERYONE. 

Pre-tech.  Yep, that's right, I’m hosting a shin-dig at my house the evening of LOAD-IN. This weekend.

Will my house be perfectly clean? 

     Hell no, I’ve been in rehearsals for two weeks and I live with three kids, two large, white dogs, a cat and a couple dozen chickens on an acre of dirt, dust and grass.

Will I masterfully prepare a smorgasbord of delectable treats?  

    Hell no, I’ll barbeque hot dogs. Cheap and easy.

But – I have a fire-pit, marshmellows, ice cream, and a relaxing evening with anyone who's curious enough to drive all the way out here before the chaos of tech starts.

A big week indeed.

my not-prince

I don’t want a prince charming. 

I am not a princess.

I will not be set on a pedestal and protected from the world.

I don’t want to be in a tower, watching the battle below.

I will be on the ground.  In the dirt.

Sweat and tears staining my face.

Side by side with my not-prince.

Wielding swords and blocking blows.

Battling the dragons together.  

No tiaras, crowns or gilt.  

No simpering, fawning fool.

No knight in shining armor.

Don’t blind me with your goodness.

I want dirty, dented, battered armor.

Bloody, beaten, bruised. 

My armor is battered and beaten.

My life is written in every scratch and dent.

And I’m damn proud of the dents.

I need no one.

I will wait for no one.

I venture forward alone, surrounded my friends and family.

My journey goes forward, my adventure continues.

Who knows who I’ll find walking in the dust around the next hill.

words i remember from people who care

Sometimes the biggest lessons are learned from the smallest exchanges. Words said meaningfully, but inconsequentially.  These words…said by these people…to me...hit me hard.  Like smacked upside the head, sent my world spinning hard. 

words i remember from people who care

The page will be updated randomly, but more than likely I won’t draw your attention to it again.