the list

3 years ago I wrote a post that ended in a list.  It was a very different time, i was in a different place.
As different as I was,  the list was timeless. It always had been, and always will be, a list of little important things.

A list of little things I want.
A list of little things that I know I need.

Every so often I pull it out.
Remind myself of the important things, you know?

Shall we take a look?


I want smiles and laughter.
- Yep. Check.

I want someone who doesn't mind messes.
- Doesn't mind my messes at all. Even helps me clean them up.

I want him to smile and pull me close when I put my cold feet on his.
- Even in his sleep.

I want him take one look at me and know how I’m doing. Instantly. And try to make it better, even just a little bit.
- He's figuring it out, what makes it better.

I want to admire him.  I want to tell him, “I hope my son grows up to be like you”
- he's a good guy.  A really good guy.

I want him to make my heart sing.
- every time.

I want him to sing to me and tell me stories. I miss stories.
- lots of singing. lots. and he's not a tenor.

I want him to know he adds to the happiness in my heart, but is not my only happiness.
- he knows.

I want him to understand my hurts, accept them and help heal them.
- he does.

I want him to be my friend first.
- we were friends 20+ years ago. And we are again.

I want him to understand how important family is to me and to feel the same way.
- he understands.

I want one day to realize that this guy, this great friend, means more to me than I thought.
- it didn't happen in one day. Or all at once. But it happened. Continues to happen.

And I want him to feel the same way.
I want it to hit him like a ton of bricks.
And have the courage to tell me.
- it was a good day, the tell-me day.

a very good day.