Are they things you’re supposed to feel guilty about enjoying? Am I supposed to feel guilty that I eat ice cream of breakfast? Or that I read tawdry romance novels? How about adoring all things Alice in Wonderland? Ooh, I know! How about counting down the minutes until the kids are in bed?
Are those guilty pleasures?
Because they don’t make me feel guilty. At all.
All those little likes add up to the whole of who I am. Every little one. Makes me me. I am not ashamed of who I am. So why should my likes and dislike make me feel guilty?
Because they’ll know.
And they’ll judge.
And they won’t like me.
Instead, pretend. Pretend I like sportsball, that I always adore my children and want to spend every moment with them. Then. Then, maybe they’ll like me. They’ll accept me and I’ll have friends.
Yay. Friends!
I don’t sport. Shall I pretend to follow sportsball, just so you’ll find me interesting? If you don’t find me interesting without my liking sportsball, well, then, we’re really not going to be very good friends then, are we? Do I really want to be friends with someone for whom sportsball is so important that they won’t want to be my friend if, *gasp* they found out I don’t care who wins?
Why do I want to spend time with people that I’m afraid to be myself with?
I’m going to be judged. Might as well be judged for being me, not for pretending to be someone else.
Own it.
Just own it. I did.
You’ve spent your entire life being you. You have likes, you have dislikes. They’re part of what makes you interesting. Why would you want to associate voluntarily with someone who doesn’t like you for you?
Stop pretending.
Own it.
Just be you.
In order to find the people who belong in your life, you have to be you. If you’re constantly hiding the you, or pretending to be someone slightly different than who you are, you’re not going to be happy. You’re constantly going to be striving to be something you’re not.
They’re gonna judge. Be judged for who you actually are, not who you think they want you to be.
Just stop trying to be liked. Stop caring what other people will think.
Stop.
Be yourself.
Be who makes you happy. Spend time with people who make you happy.
The rest will come.
Trust me.
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