moments

I ended my 36th year with my Littles sleeping upstairs.
with dishes in the sink.
with half-done house projects.
with my cat on my feet and my dog on the floor.

It was a good year.

My 37th year began when I woke up to my Littles, full of love and sleepy eyes, rushing to get ready for school so they would have time to give me my birthday gift.  I saw them out the door and went back to bed.  I relaxed under piles of quilts and pillows enjoying the stillness.  I decided I was going to enjoy the day.  Regardless of what the day brought, I was not going to rush through it.  I'm done rushing.

Right now my life is a series of chunks of time. work. family. friends. home.  Each chunk has to have time carved out of the week.  It's very disjointed and I always feel like I've got to be somewhere, making the most of every moment.

they go so fast, those moments.

I had moments yesterday. Wonderful moments.
It was a good day.
I want more days like yesterday.

I was reminded that I have old friends across the globe that care enough to spend a few minutes catching up. Those moments with old friends mean just as much to me as me as the moments spent sharing a birthday drink with a new friend.

Thank you, my friends.

I ended my day on my couch with a Boston cream cake, a loaf of french bread, and a chunk of brie.  

Not sharing with anyone.
Not talking.
I was alone, just me and my pets.

not gonna lie, alone hurts a bit.

Alone is hard when my feet are cold.
when there's piles of laundry.
when everyone's hungry and dinner is daydream.
at the end of long days, when my house is cold and dark.
when spiders.
 just. spiders.
and noises outside at night.

Yeah, alone is hard.  But it's also one of the best feelings.
Alone is a choice, and I get to make my own choices.
I can do it all alone.

Feet cold?  slippers. socks. heck, both.
Laundry?  one load at a time.
Hungry?  Pizza.  there's always pizza.
Spiders?  Whiskey, vacuums and shoes.
lots of whiskey. damn spiders.
noises?  dog.

So full of pride at what I've accomplished in the last year. I did it.  I'm here.

37 is going to be a year of adventures.
Already things are changing.
Life keeps flying by.

Do I know where I'm going?
nope.

but.
I do know that I'm going the right way.

It feels good to be lost in the right direction.