15, 13, 11, 10, forever.

In 15 days I will drive away from my little slice of heaven for the last time.

In 13 days I will get the keys to my almost perfect farmhouse. I will then spend the rest of the evening cleaning my empty farmhouse and making it mine.

In 11 days I will sign my name half a hundred times, agreeing to be solely responsible for repaying the generous loan my mortgage lender provided for my almost perfect farmhouse.

In 10 days I will sign my name, accepting payment, putting a price, on my little slice of heaven.

In the midst of all this, life is still going on. 

all the normal life stuff,

all the complicated Kristin stuff. 

My brain is full, 

my heart is full. 

I’m figuring out how to process all the things.

Pack all the things.

Sort all the things.

Clean all the things.

Let go of all the things.

This forever is done.

 I have a whole lifetime of forevers ahead of me.

Whether they last one second,

six months 

or six years, 

I will enjoy every moment of every forever.

friending

Friending when you’re a kid is easy.  In the fall you meet a group of people you will spend a substantial amount of time with. You find the few that don’t annoy the crap out of you and you spend time together. At school. At recess.  At lunch.

It gets a bit more complicated as you get into high school.  Mostly because suddenly there are hormones and hurt feelings and people not talking to each other.  No one says what they mean, or means what they say. It's messy. If you’re lucky you’ll have a good friend or two.

Friending as an adult is hard. I didn’t really bother with it until after.  It’s a lot of work. There’s effort involved.  Lives no longer match up everyday.  You have to make time. You have to remember they’re there. People change, make choices you wouldn’t, take different paths. Adults don’t stay put.  Distance puts a damper on actually spending time with them. New interests come in, people fall in and out of love. Occasionally, you find someone.  A human who gets you.  When you find one, make the effort.  It’s worth it.

I have more “real” friends than I ever imagined possible, they've seen me at my best, they've seen me at my worst. And they still like me.

Brother-mine.

M’Amy.

Always-Friend.

Sister-of-My-Heart.

My-Friday-Ladies.

I love each and every one of you with all my heart.

I cannot thank you enough for your friendship, nor can I express what your laughter, hugs, and sarcasm has meant to me.  What it continues to mean to me.  By the end of the summer, you'll be scattered across the globe.   Know that whatever adventure you choose, wherever life takes you, I am here.

Always.  With a couch, a shoulder, a bottle of whiskey, a smile and a hug.

I’m not going anywhere.

I am always here, my friends, when you need a break from the world, when you want a laugh, when you want to forget, or you want to remember.

I will always make time for you.

Text at 2am? Sure. Drinks at 5:15pm on a Wednesday? I can make that happen.  

I’ve leaned on each of you, your support has gotten me through some of the roughest bits of my adult life.  Each of you has helped me to realize who I am, and together, you’ve beaten it into me.

I get it.

I’m a good person.

It’s okay to care.

I’m not too much.

Doing it my way is perfect for me.

What's right for me is right for me. Ignore what everyone else thinks.

I think about each of you every day.

I miss each of you every day.

I wish each of you happiness every day.

Thank you, my friends.

I do love you so.