Today, my house was a mess.
Clean laundry on the kitchen table.
A sewing machine set up in the front room. Fabric scraps and an ironing board in the
hallway. Pine needles strewn across the
carpet. Muddy paw prints running from
the back door to the front. Dishes stacked next to the sink. Dirty laundry
covering the bathroom floor.
Today was the Christmas program for the younger two. We needed to leave by 6pm. The Eldest needed to be picked up from
swimming at 4:40. The younger ones got
off the bus at 3:05. We had little over
an hour before we needed to leave to get the Eldest.
They came in, dumped their stuff on the floor. Had
snack. I looked at the clock. I looked at the piles of life stacked
everywhere. I sighed. I made a choice.
“You guys wanna take a walk with me and the dogs after
snack?”
Their eyes lit up, they were totally excited.
It was almost freezing outside. Literally.
I think it was 34. I leashed up
the dogs and we headed out. We carefully
walked along the main road to the next street up, which is a quiet residential
loop. I worked with my littlest and the dogs. She did great, and now feels comfortable
walking both dogs – not at the same time though.
The boy chatted the whole time. Running ahead with a dog, running back. Switching dogs and running some more.
The walk made us late to get to pick up the eldest, but we
were all happy. I was freezing, wet feet
and muddy jeans, but happy.
Once home with all the kids, I cooked some taquitos for a
quick meal before heading down to the school.
The eldest showered all the chlorine out while I put on dry clothes. Everyone
was happy, coloring and eating.
My house is still a pit.
Actually, it's worse, because of the added dishes from dinner and I had
managed to switch the loads, so more laundry piled on the table.
But you know what?
Not important.
They are important, spending time with them. Not racing back
and forth trying to find the floor or cajoling them to help clean up. The
smiles and laughter are important.
Their program was great.
They did great. Getting home,
getting them settled in bed, I realized what I want.
A low key holiday. A happy, homey holiday.
I want them to remember the day, spending time with Mommy
and Daddy. I don’t want them to remember
frazzled Mommy.
This year, it’s going to be simple. Low key.
Fun. Spending time focused on the now.
Enjoying the time as is comes, not striving and stressing to make it "perfect."
One of my friends posted a link on Fb to a blog post entitled “Please don’t stress on account of me”
The author is traveling to family and doesn’t want them to
stress about creating the perfect holiday.
I’m not traveling this year, I’m hosting Christmas Eve
dinner.
I’m making a choice.
I don’t care if my coat rack is full of backpacks and coats. I’m not
going to stress about the piles of papers that need filed. Or the full clothes hampers. Or the cobwebs in the corners.
They're not
coming to spend time with my coat rack or papers. They're coming to spend time with me and mine.
I’m not going to pretend that everything is going swimmingly and easy. It’s not. I’m also not going to complain about
how hard life is right now.
Not
important.
I know what I want my holiday to look like. I know what I want the kids to remember.
Yes, it includes vacuumed floors, clean bathrooms and tasty
food. It also includes laughing with my
kids, working on a puzzle, playing Mario Kart and drinking grownup hot cocoa.
It doesn’t include complicated recipes,
cleaning the tops of the cabinets or 8 different desserts.
It includes clean
dogs romping with the kids and cats hiding from the twins. It includes singing along to White Christmas
while wrapping presents.
I might even put away the living room sewing machine.
Maybe.
It is a green one, so I might just thread it with red thread and call it
good.
